Priceless Mother Earth - a poem

  

Priceless Mother Earth

by Susan Paczek

Where are our poets?
Flipping hamburgers with cheese
Where are our dancers?
Dancing to “your order, please?”

Where are our writers?

Selling us cups of coffee
Where are our artists? 
Working checkout number three

Where are our children?
Traveling between school and home
And between this parent and that
Glued to their smart phones

What is for supper?
A plate of GMOs
That make our bodies big
Though our bellies don’t feel full

Who tells us our news?
People working for papers and TV
But hands signing their cheques
Belong to people we don’t see

If we press our creatives
Between high rent and low wages
How can they find time
To write society’s pages?

When can they express
Their souls’ frustrations
While trapped and muzzled
By corporations?

Why do numbers on paper
Get to decide
The value of people
And the course of their lives?

Fancy cars and mansions
Have a lot of worth
Thanks to the pricelessness
Of our Mother Earth

"Sunny Day" by Evgenia Makogon 48" x 48" acrylic on canvas

This Week's Favourite Things! Feb 17th - Feb 23rd, 2014

This is my third week of posting a list of My Favourite things aka things that make me go "ook ook ook" in monkeyspeak.  So far so good!  Stumbled across a few things this week that I really liked!


1. Look, Halifax, look! An Ethical REIT!!  Housing Partnership Equity Trust.  I noticed this on twitter when I posted my last monkey story with hashtag REIT (#REIT).  Sounds like a great initiative.  Folks have formed a REIT that is allowing non-profits to purchase apartment buildings to turn into sustainable, quality, low income housing.  Some big American banks are giving them a hand up with this.  I look forward to seeing how the project goes as I think this could be a helpful solution for the affordable housing crisis happening all over Canada.

2. Twitter and what I like to call "Human Conservation Biology".  I've had a great week of finding exciting websites via twitter, where people have been taking a very big picture approach to Ecology.  Spiritual Ecology and Humans and Nature are two of my favourite pages I've found.  In particular I love the thought of taking a look at the intersection of economics and political factors when considering conservation, as outlined in this Humans and Nature Project: Ecological Political Economy.  It's uplifting to see so many people interested in crossing fields of study looking for ways to improve life on the planet for all life forms sharing it.

3. Danny Gregory The Art of Breakfast.  Thanks to my artist friend Evgenia for telling me about this artist who has posted cool youtube videos such as this one.  I've been on break from my studio, struggling with trying not to just make art for the sake of making money.  Danny's fun attitude towards his art is inspiring.  I look forward to checking out more of his stuff!




4.  Articles by Steven Stosny. Phd and what I believe is his website, Compassion Power.  For anyone who has come from a chaotic background and has ended up in a relationship with someone from a chaotic background (I believe this might be true for a lot of people) I think there is some awesome advice in here. 

5.  Blogger.   I've become smitten with blogger and have begun tagging my posts.  It is just so fun to have a wholly independent platform where I can form opinions and stories to be published instantly to a potential audience of millions.  Even media outlets have responsibilities to their advertisers, government and whoever else pays their bills. I'm in a nice position where I can't get fired.   The monkey stories are becoming a fun way to interpret the way I see the world.   I did just see this Project Eve article today which is food for thought:  7 Symptoms of a Poverty Mentality by Te-Erika Patterson.  Item 7 about 'world-view' makes a point.  So I'm going to try to keep my fun-poking fun, positive and solution orientated... the monkeys always will live happily ever after.

The Story of the Monkeys Who Started a Real Estate Investment Trust

[Note: this is the 3rd of 3 monkey stories I've written so far.  This one is inspired by recent news stories of small businesses getting asked to shuffle along by different REITs in Halifax, Canada.  This week I also watched "Generation Screwed" which aired on CBC's The National's "Bottom Line" which gave some inspiration for part of the story, which is totally made-up.  Here is part one which aired Dec 3rd, and part two which aired this week. 

I've written blog posts about the REIT topic, as well as the affordable housing crisis, over the past 2 months, but writing monkey stories is much more fun.  I do believe this story could have an alternate happy ending where all the monkeys in the forest form "Ethical REITs" and create better opportunities for their kids]


Once upon a time, in the Central Forest, there lived a group of monkeys who spent a lot of time thinking about how they could get more bananas.

One day these monkeys met for fruit punch and banana cake, to talk about ideas for getting more bananas.

One of the monkeys, named Cartwheel, had an idea.  

"I know!" said Cartwheel to the other monkeys, "We could collect bananas from all sorts of monkeys from all of the forests, and use these bananas to buy up trees that other monkeys rent for their homes or monkey businesses.  Then we can collect the rent, pay a few bananas back to the monkeys that gave us their bananas, but also take bananas for ourselves and buy up more trees!"

"OOK OOK OOK OOK OOK!!" said all of the monkeys, nodding their heads, thumping their chests and jumping up and down in agreement.  

One monkey said "That is a GOOD idea Cartwheel!! So many monkeys and monkey businesses need to pay rent, so why not get their bananas!"

Another monkey said "Yes! And it will be an excellent way to make sure that we all have enough bananas for when we retire from our jobs! We will all need to collect pension money one day.  This thing will help us make sure that we will be able to do that!!  What shall we call this glorious thing, Cartwheel?"

"Well" said Cartwheel. "Trees are Real Estate. And we are investing bananas.  And we want monkeys to trust us with their bananas to invest. And the trees are in the forest.  So how about we call this glorious thing the 'Monkey Forest Real Estate Investment Trust?'"

"EEEK EEEK EEEK AAAACKK OOOK EEEEECK AAAAKK!!!" exclaimed all of the monkeys at the meeting. 

"It is a PERFECT name!! We love it!!"  said all the monkeys, jumping up and down thumping their chests.

"Monkey Forest Real Estate Investment Trust! Monkey Forest Real Estate Investment Trust!!!"  they all chanted in between choruses of "OOOK OOOK OOOK and EEECK AAACK AAACK"

All of the monkeys gobbled up the rest of the banana cake in excitement, swilled down the fruit punch and hurried home to tell their spouses.

"Monkey Forest Real Estate Investment Trust is going to make us RICH!"  They said to their spouses when they got back to their trees.  "OOOK OOK OOK It will help us make sure we can help our kids go to Monkey University!"

Time went on and this group of monkeys from the Central Forest did start the Monkey Forest Real Estate Investment Trust.

All of the monkeys agreed that Cartwheel should be the "Chief Monkey" of the Monkey Forest Real Estate Investment Trust (MFREIT for short).

Cartwheel was an excellent Chief Monkey.  He gathered up bananas from all sorts of monkeys and started buying up lots of trees.

"This is such an excellent idea!" the other monkeys kept saying.  "So many monkeys pay rent, why not pay rent to our MFREIT!  We're going to make so many bananas it isn't even funny!" 

The monkeys hired other monkeys to collect rent from all of the monkeys and monkey businesses that rented trees from them.  There were a lot of bananas coming in!

"This is working out splendidly" said Cartwheel at the meetings.  "MFREIT is buying up lots of trees.  We are making lots of bananas for our investors.  In fact,  any investor who gave us 100 bananas at the beginning of this year, now has 120 bananas.  That is an increase of 20 per cent!  That is an excellent investment!"

"20 percent!! 20 percent!! OOOK OOK OOOK OOK" all of the monkeys chorused.  "20 extra bananas for 100 bananas is 20 percent!!!!  That IS a SPLENDID Investment!!! OOOK OOK OOK!!!"

Word quickly spread through the forest that MFREIT was delivering a 20 percent return, so soon lots of monkeys, including monkeys in charge of pension funds decided it was a good idea to give their extra bananas to MFREIT, in order to make sure that they would have plenty of bananas later in life when they would be retired from their jobs.

More time passed, and led by Cartwheel, the monkeys of MFREIT bought more and more trees.  They bought giant trees full of apartments, and clusters of trees that contained many monkey businesses in shopping malls.

It was a lot of work!   So Cartwheel and the other monkeys in charge felt that it was only fair that they kept enough bananas for themselves in order to afford giant tree-mansions, expensive suits, fancy cars, and water-skiing cruises.

Giant tree-mansions, expensive suits, fancy cars and water-skiing cruises all cost a lot of bananas.  So the monkeys in charge of MFREIT would make sure that the monkeys collecting bananas from tenants would raise the rents as often as they could.

"But I can't pay this much rent!! OOOK OOOK OOOOK" some of the monkeys and monkey business owners would say.  The monkeys and monkey business owners who would receive these rent increases were often very alarmed!

Whenever this happened, the monkey agent in charge of MFREIT would say "I am sorry monkey, but if you can't pay more rent, then you will have to gather up all of your things and find another tree to move to.  I am so sorry, this isn't my tree you know.  I just work for MFREIT."

"MFREIT?" Some monkeys would say, unaware that MFREIT had bought their tree.  "What is that?"

"Monkey Forest Real Estate Investment Trust.  Monkey Forest Real Estate Investment Trust helps lots of monkeys in the forest, you know." the monkey agent would say.

"Oh." the monkeys would say, thinking maybe MFREIT stood for something else.  And then these monkeys would either have to figure out how to pay more rent, or else move from the tree they were renting.

MFREIT still managed to buy more and more trees, and even started building massive tree-apartment complexes and malls because they knew they could rent these spaces out to giant businesses that would pay a lot of rent!!

"OOOK OOK OOK!! 20 percent!!!"  The monkeys would chorus at their meetings.  "OOOK We MUST keep making 20 percent!!!"

And so the monkey agents were instructed to do things such as tell the owners of monkey businesses that they had to move their business.

"Why?? I've always paid my rent!" The monkey business owners would say.  "All of my customers are used to coming here, where am I supposed to go?"

"Well don't blame me," the monkey agent would say, "I just work for MFREIT.  MFREIT is important.  MFREIT helps lots of monkeys.  MFREIT needs to make a lot of bananas and there are many big businesses from the Southern Forest that can pay much bigger rent than you can.  So you need to go."

"Wow." The monkey business owners would say "you don't seem to be a good company."

"Oh yes we're a good company" the agent from MFREIT would then say "Every year we raise bananas for monkeys in need by having events where we hang from our tails from tall trees for long periods of time.  It is dangerous so people give us lots of bananas to give to charity.  We are a very good company.  OOOK OOOK OOK."

More time passed, and the monkeys who started MFREIT had gotten older.  These monkeys had gotten so old that they were thinking about retirement.  They were able to send their kids to Monkey University, but after their kids finished Monkey University, their kids were having a hard time finding jobs and places to live.  Not only that, Monkey University had become very expensive so a lot of them had big student loans and owed many, many bananas to the Bank of Monkeys (BMO).

"OOOK OOK OOOK" some of the older monkeys would say to eachother at work "I don't understand our kids.  They live in our basement.  OOOK when I was their age I was working a good job.  I had my own tree."

It was a big problem!! 43 percent of adult monkey kids were still living in their parents trees!  It was such a big problem that the Monkey News Network even gathered four very smart panelists together to talk about the problem in a two part series called "What is Wrong With Our Young Monkeys?"

"Monkey parents should just kick their kids out of their trees!" said one panelist.  "When I was their age, I had a job!"

A young monkey called into the show, over its computer, with a video-question.

"Is it possible that MFREIT could be part of why it is so hard for monkey kids to move out of their parents' trees? I mean most of the businesses are giant businesses from the Southern Forest now and they don't pay their employees very much.  Just the minimum amount of bananas per hour.  And it is very expensive to rent a tree, because rents are so expensive now.  Also Monkey University costs many many many more bananas than it would have when you went to Monkey University.  What do you think about that, panelists?"

The panelists, who were all invested in MFREIT for their pensions said:

"OOOK OOK OOK OOOK we think you are a VERY stupid monkey.  We NEED MFREIT to fund our retirement!! How dare you suggest such a thing, stupid monkey?"

The big, white-haired chimpanzee who was leading the discussion was so upset by this question that it took a big poop right into its hand and flung it at the television screen that showed the young monkey asking the question.

"Bad monkey!!" yelled the white-haired chimpanzee towards the television screen that showed the young monkey asking the question, "Shame on you.  Shame.  MFREIT is an excellent company didn't you know they hang upside down from very tall trees once a year to raise bananas for charity?  And they are funding my retirement.  What is wrong with you??"

"Bad, stupid monkey" the other panelists agreed.

And that was the end of that discussion.

More time passed.  The older monkeys had to get used to the younger monkeys living in their trees with them.  It would be okay, they thought, soon they would be retired.  They would cash all of their bananas out of MFREIT and have so many bananas that maybe they could even help their kids find their own tree.

But unfortunately, meanwhile MFREIT had been borrowing more and more bananas from BMO (The Bank of Monkeys) to build bigger, and bigger tree-apartments and shopping malls.

"OOK OOK OOK" Cartwheel would say at meetings "Brand new big tree-apartments and big shopping malls mean big rent!!  There will be lots of bananas for everyone!!"

"OOOK OOK OOK" all the monkeys who worked with Cartwheel would chorus in agreement.

"That is good, Cartwheel, because we need more bananas!" Said the monkey in charge of bananas for the company.   "It has been awhile since monkeys giving us 100 bananas at the beginning of the year would get 120 bananas.  We don't want the monkey investors to stop trusting Monkey Forest Real Estate Investment Trust!" 

Unfortunately, these brand-new big-tree apartments and big shopping malls cost so much to rent that the Monkey Businesses who could rent them could only pay very few bananas to their workers.  And so many monkeys had to pay high rent, and had low wages that they didn't have hardly any bananas left over to spend at the big new shopping malls.  A lot of the trees sat empty!  Soon MFREIT wasn't making 20 percent, it was losing bananas for its investors!

Many investors who thought they would be able to retire with the bananas they gave to MFREIT found out that they didn't have nearly as many bananas as they thought they would!

So in the end, all of the monkey families learned to live together, the older monkeys who had been "rich" and the younger monkeys who didn't get a chance.  They moved from the big cities in the middle of the forests back out to small villages at the forest edges, where trees didn't cost a lot of bananas to own or rent, and where it was even possible to own their own monkey-businesses without having to pay rent!  They realized it really didn't take much to make them happy.

All they really needed was a tree to sleep in, some bananas to eat, and eachother.  All of the monkeys realized this, and they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

The Tale Of Two Monkeys Who Wanted To Buy All Of The Trees In The Forest

**This is the second of 2 monkey stories I've written so far, and there are more on the way... the first was "The Story of the Monkey With The Banappelopes"**


Once upon a time there were two monkeys named Teapot and Hammer.  

Teapot and Hammer had the same parents and grew up neither poor nor rich.   

Teapot and Hammer's parents lived very simply and saved up all of the bananas they could, to help their kids.

Teapot and Hammer's parents loved both of them very much, and would often have both of them over for a lunch of banana sandwiches.

Teapot went to Monkey University, in the middle of the forest, to learn about how to protect the forest and keep the forest healthy.  This subject of study was called Forest Conservation Biology.

It cost a lot of bananas to rent an apartment in a tree near the middle of the forest, and this was where the university and a lot of good jobs were.  So Teapot's parents used a bunch of the bananas they saved up to help Teapot buy an apartment in a big tree in the middle of the forest.

Teapot graduated from Monkey University and got a very good job working for a Forest Conservation Company. 

Teapot liked this job very much at first. But Teapot soon realized that the older monkeys that Teapot was working for seemed to be more concerned about how they would pay for their kids to go to Monkey University, than they were about protecting their forest!  

The older monkeys that Teapot worked for seemed to spend a lot of their day pushing papers around on their desks and talking about whether their kids should become doctors or lawyers.

Teapot went from being excited and keen with its conservation job to spending a lot of time staring out of its office window.  Teapot would stare out the window and daydream about how it could just live in a big tree with enough fruit to eat so as not to have to work for any other monkeys.

Teapot read the Monkey Daily Newspaper every morning and noticed that lots of monkeys seemed to want to move to where Teapot's apartment was.  Apartments in the part of the forest where Teapot lived were becoming quite expensive.

"Hmmm..."  thought Teapot, as it read the newspaper.  "My apartment is sure worth a lot of bananas!"

Teapot also noticed that there were some very big trees for sale at the edge of the forest that didn't cost many bananas at all!  There weren't many jobs for monkeys in those parts of the forest, but with the bananas that Teapot's apartment was worth Teapot could buy a very big tree!

Teapot found a website called "Monkeyspoint" on the internet.  "Monkeyspoint" was a website where all the monkeys in the forest would advertise any trees and apartments that they had for sale.  Teapot started to look at very big trees, in places where big trees didn't cost too many bananas.  Teapot would daydream about how nice it would be to live in a tree in such a place.  

Teapot would never divide a big tree like that up into apartments, it would just live there peacefully.  Teapot didn't need much to be happy, just a few bananas and maybe the odd banappleloupe.   It would protect the tree from development, just like it learned to do at Monkey University where Teapot studied conservation biology.

Teapot told its parents about its idea.

"Ooook." Said Teapot's parents, thoughtfully.  "That is a nice idea.  We always lived very simply.  Maybe you should go to BMO and ask if they can help you".   

BMO was short for "Bank of Monkeys".

"Aaack Aacck"  agreed Teapot.  And Teapot made an appointment to speak with a Monkey Broker at BMO.  

Monkey Brokers helped monkeys buy trees.

BMO assigned a Monkey Broker to Teapot.  Teapot's Monkey Broker was a Gibbon named Lululemonshirt.

Lululemonshirt told Teapot that the Bank of Monkeys could lend Teapot enough bananas to buy a big tree on the edge of the forest based on what Teapot's apartment was worth.

 "Oook!!" said Teapot, "Well that sounds too good to be true!"

Lululemonshirt explained,  "Aack. It is because there are always a few monkeys around who need places to rent, and because you have a good job, Teapot".

Wow, thought teapot, I wouldn't need to charge monkeys much rent, and then I'll have a nice big tree to move to some day!

Teapot was so excited it began jumping up and down thumping its chest!

"Oook ook, acck acck!" exclaimed Teapot.

Teapot learned that Bank of Monkeys makes it very difficult for a monkey to buy its first tree, or first apartment, but once that monkey owns one apartment or tree, it gets a bit easier to buy more trees to rent out to other monkeys!

In fact, Bank of Monkeys and the Monkey Government who ran the forest made it pretty easy for monkeys with a lot of bananas, or even just a home worth a lot of bananas, to own many trees!

Teapot ended up buying a big tree at the edge of the forest, and was very excited about all of this news.  Teapot couldn't wait to talk to Hammer about all of this over banana sandwiches at their parents' place.

"Oook.  It is very exciting!  Although it doesn't seem fair, Hammer" said Teapot to Hammer, over banana sandwiches at their parents house. 

"Why should I get to own an apartment and a big tree at the edge of the forest to rent out to Monkeys when some Monkeys can't even own one apartment to live in?" asked Teapot. 

"Who cares!" said Hammer.  Hammer picked up 3 banana sandwiches at once and stuffed all of them into its mouth.

"Every Monkey needs a place to live." said Hammer, speaking with its mouth so full of banana sandwiches that globs of banana were flying everywhere.   "I own 250 trees all over the forest.  It is fantastic!  I hire Monkeys to watch the trees for me and I have time to take my pet Meerkats on waterskiing-cruises with me."

It was true.  Hammer now owned 5 purebred, award-winning Meerkats that Hammer took with it everywhere that Hammer went.

"Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip." said Hammer's 5 pet Meerkats in agreement.  

Hammer didn't go anywhere without its Meerkats.

Pet Meerkats and waterskiing cruises were something that only the richest Monkeys in the forest could afford.  Hammer had always felt put out that their parents weren't very rich.

Eventhough Hammer and Teapot grew up in a modest home, Hammer wanted nothing but the best of the best.  Hammer wanted to live in a giant tree-mansion with a gardener, housekeeper and Meerkat trainer.  Hammer's tree-mansion had the very best in finishings.  

Besides water-skiing cruises, Hammer wanted to go to the Monkey Opera House as often as possible, and eat Roast Banappelope Supreme every night at Chateux Lemur Bistro.

It never made much sense to Teapot.

Teapot asked Hammer: "Don't you ever feel bad, that you're going on all these fancy waterskiing-cruises and having Roast Banappelope Supreme every night at Chateux Lemur Bistro while the monkeys who rent from you are working 2 jobs each to pay their rent, and living on Macaroni and Fleas?"

"OOOK..."  said Hammer, flaring its nostrils.  "Why should I feel bad? If Monkeys don't want to rent from me, then they can move someplace else! Anyways, Teapot, thank you for reminding me, I need to raise everybody's rent.  I'm going to put my darling Meerkats into finishing school and it costs 30,000 bananas per year per Meerkat.  That's a lot of bananas!  150,000 per year to be exact!  So everyone's rent needs to go up right away!"

"Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip" yipped Hammer's Meerkats in agreement.

"Acck acck, Move WHERE?" asked Teapot,  "you own so many of the trees for rent in the forest, and you charge so much rent how are monkeys ever supposed to save up to buy their own tree?"

"THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM" yelled Hammer.  Hammer was getting so upset by Teapot's questions that Hammer took a poop right into its hand and flung it at Teapot's head.

"If my lazy tenants can't make their rent then they should all go get other jobs!" said Hammer, pounding its fist on the table.  "OOK OOK AACK ACCK!" exclaimed Hammer, jumping up and down and thumping its chest.

Hammer's 5 Meerkats squealed in agreement. "Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip!!"  they said.

"What other jobs?"  "Don't you also charge such high rent to all sorts of monkey-businesses such that monkeys with monkey-businesses can't afford to hire helpers? Or if they can, to they can't afford to pay their helpers very much?" 

Hammer ignored Teapot's question. 

"You don't know what you're talking about, Teapot!" said Hammer.  "I give LOTS of bananas to charity.  Every year I spend 100 bananas to go to the big fundraiser put on by the "Treehouses for All Monkeys" group.  Lots of rich monkeys like me go to that party, and with all the bananas that are raised, one lucky Monkey family per year gets a treehouse built for them!  This year I even bought a raffle ticket to win a water-skiing cruise and I DIDN'T EVEN WIN!!!"

Hammer was so excited that it grabbed 5 more banana sandwiches off of the tray and swallowed them whole. 

"Hammer," said Teapot, "did you ever stop to think that maybe that charity wouldn't be necessary if all the rich monkeys who go to the fundraiser would just charge lower rent?"

Hammer ate 3 more banana sandwiches, rolled its eyes, and said "Pffffft".

"Anyways, Teapot, you don't know about renting trees to monkeys."  Said Hammer.  "Some can be filthy.  They smash up my trees and fling their poop around and that's why rent must be expensive.  Not only that I like to go to the Monkey Opera House and watching opera is expensive.   And I need to go on water-skiing cruises to relax.  So I have to charge more rent."  said Hammer, nodding and smiling a smug smile.

"But Hammer, maybe these monkeys are frustrated because of the way things are.  Don't you remember when you had to rent a place? We aren't from a rich family you know."  said Teapot.

"No." Said Hammer.  "I don't remember.  And this conversation is OVER."

"Come on, Meerkats, we are so out of here!" Hammer barked at its meerkats.

"Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip!" said Hammer's Meerkats, gathering around Hammer.

Then Hammer snatched up the rest of the banana sandwiches on the table, stuffed them all into its mouth and stomped out of their parents home, with its Meerkats following behind.

This luncheon with Hammer gave Teapot a lot to think about. 

A lot of what Hammer had to say just didn't seem right, or fair, to Teapot.

One day, while Teapot was staring out the window at home, thinking about the things Hammer had said, a little bird flew up to Teapot.  The little bird said, "Teapot, you're pretty smart why don't you figure out how to buy a bunch of trees like Hammer did?  Maybe you could charge less rent to Monkeys and even help them own their own trees, if that's what they would prefer".

"That is an excellent idea!" said Teapot to the little bird.  "Thank you, little bird!"

The next day Teapot went to Lululemonshirt's office.

"Lululemonshirt!"  said Teapot to the gibbon "Please, Please can you help me buy more trees?"

Lululemonshirt was very happy to help Teapot buy more trees, because everytime Teapot would buy a tree, Lululemonshirt would get a big basket of bananas as a bonus payment!  And Lululemonshirt had kids to feed so it wanted all the bananas it could get!

It turned out that, because of Teapot's job, and the value of the apartment and the value of the tree that Teapot owned already, Teapot could buy more trees! 

Knowing this, Teapot went home to look in the internet for more trees that it could buy.

The little bird would sit on Teapot's shoulder and they would both look at all the trees for sale on the Monkeyspoint website.  

In time Teapot got better at spotting which trees would go up in value, and which ones they could rent out for prices lower than Hammer would.

Teapot even met some very nice "tradesmonkeys" who knew different, useful trades! 

There was an electrician, a plumber and a carpenter, who would help Teapot by fixing up some of the cheaper trees that needed work, for a fair price.  

The tradesmonkeys liked helping Teapot because creating affordable treehouses for all sorts of nice monkeys was a lot more fun than doing other jobs!  Other jobs that they didn't like included building a 'Meerkat Gazebo', a 'Salt-Water Meerkat Wading Pond', and a 'Meerkat Ice Dancing Rink' for Hammer's tree-mansion.  

Teapot was much nicer to the tradesmonkeys than Hammer was.

Teapot realized that it could ask the monkeys that it was collecting rent from for their help.

"Listen:" Teapot would tell monkeys who might want to rent a tree from Teapot...

"The little bird and I are trying to build a Monkey Business that helps monkeys, so we're giving you the best rent we can afford to.  In return you can help us by not trashing our trees and by not leaving your poop everywhere when you move out.  You can also help us by giving us as much notice as possible when you move out so our trees aren't sitting vacant.

Hopefully over time we won't have to raise our rents and our trees will seem quite reasonable. Most of the bananas we collect from you goes to the Bank of Monkeys, the Monkey government.  

We don't go on waterskiing-cruises or have any pet Meerkats to put through finishing schools that cost 30,000 bananas per Meerkat per year.

All we need to get by is a few bananas to eat.  All we want is our freedom and to try to protect this forest, after all, that is what I went to Monkey University for.  Help us, and hopefully fewer monkeys will need to rent trees from Hammer.  Hopefully then we can start helping monkeys to own their own trees, if that is what they want."

The monkeys respected Teapot and the little bird for what they were trying to do, and bit by bit they were able to buy a few more trees.

Teapot was able to quit its job, rent out its apartment, and move to its big tree at the edge of the forest.  Teapot was so happy there! 

While building its own Monkey Business, Teapot didn't adopt pet Meerkats or go on water-skiing cruises.  The homes that Teapot and the little bird created for other monkeys were in much better shape than the home Teapot lived in, but Teapot was just so grateful not to have to work for anyone else that it did not mind at all.

"All I need is a few bananas to eat and a tree to sleep in" Teapot would say.  Teapot appreciated all of the monkeys who paid rent to live in its trees, and Teapot never took its freedom for granted.

Teapot and the Little Bird did like the internet though, and they would watch cheerful movies about Humans such as "It's A Wonderful Life". 




Eventually, Teapot and the little bird started a proper company! The little bird and Teapot decided to call their company Dreamhouse Properties.
 
In time Teapot was even able to help some of the monkeys that rented trees, buy their own trees if that's what they wanted.  

Not all of the monkeys wanted the responsibility or expense of owning their own tree, though, and that was fine.  

Some monkeys preferred to rent because then they could afford to go on trips and buy other things they liked.  That was fine, as they helped all of the Monkey Businesses where ever they spent their bananas.

As time passed, fewer and fewer monkeys in the forest had to rent from Hammer.  This was because more and more monkeys were able to rent or rent-to-own better homes from Teapot for less bananas than what Hammer would charge.

One day Hammer and Teapot met for another banana sandwich lunch at their parents' house.

"Hammer, you know what, I have more tenants than you do now and I have to say that you aren't any better than any of those monkeys who rent from you.  Just because you go on fancy trips and show your purebred Meerkats at the Meerkat shows.  To be honest I'd say that a lot of those monkeys are much harder working than you are!"

Hammer did not like hearing this at all.  Hammer jumped up and down, thumped its chest and took a poop straight into its hand which it flung at Teapot.

"You don't know what you're talking about!"  said Hammer flaring its nostrils.  "OOOK.  I NEED to go on water-skiing cruises.  I need to eat at fancy restaurants and watch the opera.  It relaxes me.  These things are important for my business!!"

"Then why don't you invite a few of the monkeys that pay rent to you along with you sometime?" said Teapot.  

This last question made Hammer so angry that Hammer started jumping up and down so hard that the tray of banana sandwiches flipped right over onto the floor with a loud CRASH!

"Hammer and Teapot, be quiet and eat your banana sandwiches!" called their parents from the kitchen.

In time, Teapot and the little bird used their Dreamhouse Properties company to buy stores to rent out to all sorts of Monkey Business Owners who used to rent places for their businesses from Hammer.

One of these monkeys was a Gorilla named Cookie.

Cookie owned The Coconut Hut, a small restaurant that sold fried bananas and rented a spot for 31 years in a shopping mall that Hammer owned.  

Hammer told Cookie that Cookie's rent had to double! Hammer wanted to double Cookie's rent from 5000 bananas per month to 10,000 bananas per month! 

"OOOK OOK EEEK AACCCK!!"  Cookie would say when anyone asked it about Hammer.

"OOK!! That Hammer is a very greedy monkey!! I've been selling my fried bananas here for 31 years!  I was selling fried bananas here when Hammer was only a small monkey, before Hammer ever even owned this mall!"  Cookie would say, flaring its nostrils, thumping its chest and jumping up and down.

Cookie was very happy when Teapot offered it a cheaper, better space in a nearby shopping mall.

Cookie opened up a new and improved Coconut Hut in the mall Teapot owned!  There was a grand opening celebration with fried bananas for everyone, and balloons for kids!

Cookie's move to Teapot's mall was a turning point for Dreamhouse Properties.  

The bad treatment that Hammer gave Cookie was covered by all of the Monkey newspapers and television stations.  Soon every monkey in the forest realized how greedy Hammer was.

Suddenly monkeys that had invested their bananas with Hammer wanted to get their bananas back to invest with Teapot instead!  Dreamhouse Properties turned into Dreamhouse Investments!  

All sorts of monkeys invested their money with Teapot in order to make nice, rental homes for all of the monkeys that they knew.  Soon they were able to buy some of Hammer's trees from Hammer and lower every monkey's rent, and give more Monkeys and Monkey Businesses a chance to own their own home or store, if that is what they wanted.

More time passed and eventually Hammer had to start selling off all of its trees to Teapot because no monkey wanted to rent anything from Hammer any more.  

Teapot's Dreamhouse Investment company was so successful that it was able to create good jobs for all sorts of monkeys.  They even built an office building in the middle of the forest!  

Hammer's company was no longer making enough bananas to support the lifestyle that Hammer enjoyed, so Teapot gave Hammer a job mopping floors in the office building for 10 bananas per hour

"This is ridiculous."  Hammer said to Teapot one day while Hammer mopped up the floor.  "We're related. I should get paid more!" 

"10 bananas per hour is minimum wage. That is what many of your tenants were earning so I think it is fair."  said Teapot, in front of a group of monkeys who now worked for Teapot.

The monkeys nodded up and down in agreement.  

One of them said,  "OOK OOOK EEEK ACCK ACCK  Yes, it is fair, Hammer! You were so mean to the monkeys who rented trees from you, you should feel grateful that Teapot even gave you a job at all!"

"AACCK!" agreed another monkey  "How do YOU like it, Hammer? Living on minimum wage!  Imagine if you had to pay high rent, to live in one of your trees, and could only afford to eat Macaroni and Fleas for supper.  That's how I used to live when I rented a tree from you!"

Hammer blubbered and muttered while it mopped the floor. 

"Stupid Job."  sobbed Hammer.  "I can't even afford to show my Meerkats at the Forestminster Grand Meerkat Show or go on waterskiing-cruises or to the Opera House or eat Roast Banappelope Supreme at Chateau Lemur Bistro... ook ook ook."

In time Teapot did go on a waterskiing-cruise! But it was able to book the entire boat and take many of its staff, tenants and tenants kids along for the ride.  

The skipper of the waterskiing-cruise boat gave Teapot a good deal on a cruise, because Teapot had helped the skipper afford its own treehouse!  

Teapot even invited Hammer along because it seemed that Hammer had finally learned a lesson.  Hammer learned that just because Hammer had figured out how to own 250 trees, that didn't make Hammer any better than any of the other monkeys.   

Dreamhouse Investments became such a big success that in time Teapot was able to use some of the bananas the company made to buy big chunks of the forest to set aside for animals like turtles and birds; as well as for conservation of all sorts of plants.  Then all of the monkeys had lots of forest to enjoy, even the ones who lived in apartments.  This made Teapot very happy because after all, this is exactly why Teapot went to Monkey University.

As time went on, Teapot, the little bird, Hammer, Lululemonshirt, the tradesmonkeys, and lots of other monkeys all worked together to make sure that every monkey could afford to live in nice trees, and have good jobs, so that all of the monkeys in the forest lived happily ever after.


The End.

This Week's Favourite Things! Feb 10th - 16th, 2014

Wow I can't believe a week has already passed since I wrote my first "favourite things" list last week!

This week we have:

1. This video: "Clarence" by "This Way to the Egress".  I must say a couple of the folks in this video look and/or sound familiar... but maybe this is just a symptom of getting close to the Egress...



2.   The story of how Canadian speedskater Gilmore Junio gave up his spot in the 1000m race at the Sochi Winter Olympics so that his teammate, Denny Morrison, could have a shot at winning a medal.  He did!  Such a nice story!




3.  Another happy Sochi/Canada story! Sprouts, Chickpea Flatbread, and Red Cabbage Sauerkraut from Gali's Healthy Kitchen.  

Gali Makogon and her daughter Evgenia are both from Sochi Russia; Gali is at the Halifax Seaport Market every Saturday selling her delicious, healthy raw vegan food; Evgenia helps her out.  If you can't wait for Saturday you can buy food from their home too.   I am now addicted to their sprouts, $5/container, this week they were radish. I ate them all before I could take a photo! Living food! So good with sauerkraut and flatbread..  Items of Gali's will end up on my lists again I'm sure as everything she makes is delicious! I copied these pics by Evgenia off Gali's facebook page, I'm sure they won't mind!

sprouted chickpea flatbread

fermented red cabbage sauerkraut, good for your guts

Gali Makogon at her table; all pics by her daughter Evgenia

4.  "Metal Arts Village"  In Tuscon Arizona.  A friend sent me a link to this video which seems to be a cool example of artist live/work spaces.  In this case it seems that one of the metal artists is a lawyer who was able to front the dough to help create a village, providing live/work spaces as well as opportunities to share equipment and collaborate.  Neat idea!

Link to the Arizona Public Media Story that is the source of the video... I took the video off this post as I couldn't figure out how to make it not start automatically every time my blog is clicked on!


5.  Geronimo Stilton children's books.  I haven't actually read any of these books but I'm really intrigued.  I asked an 8 year old relative what books she's into these days and she mentioned these ones.  There are a lot of them! They're based out of Italy and have been published in 35 languages... 

This is super inspiring because after writing my first list of favourite things I also wrote my first "monkey story" : "The Story of the Monkey with the Banappleloupes".  which I've been editing down to be more kid-friendly and earn parental approval.  Suddenly I have ideas for many more "monkey stories" featuring purposefully gender-neutral monkeys and hopefully promoting things such as sharing and environmentalism in a subtle, entertaining way.

Judging by the lack of 'art' on my blog lately you can see I've been taking a break from my clay studio.  Partly because my glaze shed is all frozen up and partly because of economic issues that will be addressed 2 monkey stories from now: "The Story of the Monkeys who liked to make Banappleloupeholders and the Monkeys with Banappleloupeholder Stores".  But before I write that one I'll be posting "The Tale of Two Monkeys Who Wanted to buy all of the Trees in the Forest" which will be about 2 monkeys that get into real estate investing, but with different objectives.

For now "monkey stories" seem to be a very low-cost quick way for me to scratch my creative itch while using some of my animal behaviour/conservation biologist background.  And it doesn't dry my hands out like clay does.  We'll see what happens!

Eventually I'd like to add illustrations to the posts with "mokey stories", and maybe even record my 80 year old artist friend Helen Opie reading them aloud if I can get her to agree, she has such a nice voice for that sort of thing I think!

The Story of the Monkey with the Banappelopes

Once upon a time, there was a monkey who decided to move to a new forest.  This monkey felt that it had to move because the forest where it was born was burned down to raise cattle for a fast food chain.

So this monkey moved far away, to a forest that looked a lot like the forest where it used to live.

This monkey brought with it a delicious fruit from its old forest, to share with Other Monkeys.  As part of the settlement for its forest being burned down, the monkey was given a whole case of banappelopes!  So the monkey wouldn't need to worry about finding a job in the forest it was moving to, as it would have plenty of food for the first while at least.

Unfortunately none of this monkey's friends or family wanted to come along to this new forest; they all got jobs working for the company that cleared the forest where it came from. 

For the rest of the story, let's call this monkey the New Monkey. 

The New Monkey was super excited when it arrived at its awesome new forest.

 "Wow" thought the New Monkey, "this sure looks a lot like my forest looked before my forest got burned down to raise cattle for a fast food chain!"

So the very first thing that the New Monkey did when it arrived in this awesome forest was to walk up to a group of Other Monkeys.  

The New Monkey was excited!

The New Monkey was so excited that it started thumping its chest and saying things like "OOOK OOOK EEEK ACCCKK AAACCKK!!! LOOK at this delicious fruit!!!!  It's a banappleloupe! You ALL NEED to eat it, it is the BEST!!! ACCK ACCK IT IS IMPORTANT!!!  LET'S ALL GROW BANAPPLELOUPE TREES SO YOUR FOREST DOESN'T END UP LIKE MINE!!!"  

The New Monkey was so excited it was shouting at the Other Monkeys! It was shouting, jumping up and down, pointing at its banappelope, and thumping its chest!

The Other Monkeys looked at the New Monkey and turned their backs.  

"Buzz off, monkey,"  piped up the leader of this particular group of monkeys.  "I've got kids to feed and a job to go to, I have no time to try out your banappelope.  I'm not interested." 

Some of the Other Monkeys were actually mildly interested in what the New Monkey was going on about.  But they decided that if most of the monkeys they knew were not interested in the newcomer, especially their leader, then it was best to stick with the troop. So they kept their mouths shut.

The New Monkey felt hurt at first.  But then it went for a walk in the forest to calm itself down.  

A little bird came up to the New Monkey and chirped gently into its ear.  

The little bird explained, "Of course these Other Monkeys are going to be suspicious of a New Monkey's motives.  After all, they've all been getting along just fine without you or your banappelopes.   They haven't seen what happened to your forest.  Their forest is fine. They probably just figure that you want one of their jobs.  There aren't a lot of jobs in this forest, you know!"

The New Monkey listened to the little bird, until it understood and felt better.  Then it quietly said to the Other Monkeys "Hey guys, I'll be other there", pointing off into the forest.

And then it left them alone.

The New Monkey went off to sit quietly off to the side of the forest, away from the Other Monkeys, to enjoy its banappelopes.  It saved a few seeds, and planted a few trees for itself, to make sure it would never need to take a job away from one of the Other Monkeys.

After a short while, The New Monkey learned to quit caring what the Other Monkeys thought.  Soon the New Monkey was too busy enjoying its banappelopes, and all of the beautiful sights, sounds and smells of its new forest home to give any thought to what the Other Monkeys were even up to.  

The little bird was very nice.  It kept coming back to check on the New Monkey.  The little bird kept the New Monkey company once in a while, and the New Monkey didn't feel lonely at all.

Eventually some of the Other Monkeys started thinking, "Huh, that New Monkey looks awfully happy.  And it is always eating banappelopes!  Maybe we should go see what banappelopes are all about."

The New Monkey was pleasantly surprised to be approached by a few of the Other Monkeys.

"Oh, you wanna try some banappelope?" said the New Monkey,  "Here you go." 

The New monkey busted up a ripe, juicy banappelope for all of the monkeys to share.

"How much do you want for this?" asked one of the Other Monkeys, suspiciously, as it took a chunk.

"Oh I don't want anything for it, I have plenty to share".  Said the New Monkey.  The New Monkey was so happy that the Other Monkeys had come to visit that it smiled a very big smile!

As it turned out, a few of the Other Monkeys did like banappelopes very much!

So much so that eventually those monkeys got together and thought, hmmm, these are actually really good, now that more of us are eating them, how can we grow more?  

One of the Other Monkeys said "I know!".   

"I know where there's a bare spot in the forest!  We could all rehabilitate it by pooping on it and plant a few banappelope trees!" 

And that is what they did!  The plan worked out wonderfully.  The trees grew big and tall, fertilized by all of the monkeys' poop!

In time, all of the monkeys had as many banappelopes as they could eat, and soon the Other Monkeys could afford to spend less time at their jobs.  Some of the Other Monkeys, who didn't need much to live on, even became able to quit jobs that they didn't like!

The New Monkey cautioned the Other monkeys, though.  It cautioned them not to go chopping down the rest of the forest to grow banappelopes, because not everyone likes banappelopes.   

"Let's just try to get along, the monkeys who like banappelopes and the monkeys who don't." said the New Monkey.

Eventually the monkeys who loved banappelopes, and the monkeys who didn't care for banappelopes, were able to all work together.   By pooping on bare patches of forest, and planting more banappelope trees, the monkeys made their forest very profitable.  In time their forest became even more profitable than it would have been if it was cleared for cattle.  

So the forest where they all lived was never cleared to raise cattle for a fast food chain, like New Monkey's former home.  

Eventually the monkeys got televisions and so they could watch MNN (Monkey Network News).  The monkeys would all sit in a tree together and watch stories from the New Monkey's former home, as well as stories about other forests that had been cleared to raised cattle for fast food chains.

All of the monkeys realized how lucky they were to have a beautiful forest and lots of food share, and they all lived happily ever after:

The End.