Once upon a time there were two monkeys named Teapot and Hammer.
Teapot and Hammer had the same parents and grew up neither poor nor rich.
Teapot and Hammer's parents lived very simply and saved up all of the bananas they could, to help their kids.
Teapot and Hammer's parents loved both of them very much, and would often have both of them over for a lunch of banana sandwiches.
Teapot went to Monkey University, in the middle of the forest, to learn about how to protect the forest and keep the forest healthy. This subject of study was called Forest Conservation Biology.
It cost a lot of bananas to rent an apartment in a tree near the middle of the forest, and this was where the university and a lot of good jobs were. So Teapot's parents used a bunch of the bananas they saved up to help Teapot buy an apartment in a big tree in the middle of the forest.
Teapot graduated from Monkey University and got a very good job working for a Forest Conservation Company.
Teapot liked this job very much at first. But Teapot soon realized that the older monkeys that Teapot was working for seemed to be more concerned about how they would pay for their kids to go to Monkey University, than they were about protecting their forest!
The older monkeys that Teapot worked for seemed to spend a lot of their day pushing papers around on their desks and talking about whether their kids should become doctors or lawyers.
Teapot went from being excited and keen with its conservation job to spending a lot of time staring out of its office window. Teapot would stare out the window and daydream about how it could just live in a big tree with enough fruit to eat so as not to have to work for any other monkeys.
Teapot read the Monkey Daily Newspaper every morning and noticed that lots of monkeys seemed to want to move to where Teapot's apartment was. Apartments in the part of the forest where Teapot lived were becoming quite expensive.
"Hmmm..." thought Teapot, as it read the newspaper. "My apartment is sure worth a lot of bananas!"
Teapot also noticed that there were some very big trees for sale at the edge of the forest that didn't cost many bananas at all! There weren't many jobs for monkeys in those parts of the forest, but with the bananas that Teapot's apartment was worth Teapot could buy a very big tree!
Teapot found a website called "Monkeyspoint" on the internet. "Monkeyspoint" was a website where all the monkeys in the forest would advertise any trees and apartments that they had for sale. Teapot started to look at very big trees, in places where big trees didn't cost too many bananas. Teapot would daydream about how nice it would be to live in a tree in such a place.
Teapot would never divide a big tree like that up into apartments, it would just live there peacefully. Teapot didn't need much to be happy, just a few bananas and maybe the odd banappleloupe. It would protect the tree from development, just like it learned to do at Monkey University where Teapot studied conservation biology.
Teapot told its parents about its idea.
"Ooook." Said Teapot's parents, thoughtfully. "That is a nice idea. We always lived very simply. Maybe you should go to BMO and ask if they can help you".
BMO was short for "Bank of Monkeys".
"Aaack Aacck" agreed Teapot. And Teapot made an appointment to speak with a Monkey Broker at BMO.
Monkey Brokers helped monkeys buy trees.
BMO assigned a Monkey Broker to Teapot. Teapot's Monkey Broker was a Gibbon named Lululemonshirt.
Lululemonshirt told Teapot that the Bank of Monkeys could lend Teapot enough bananas to buy a big tree on the edge of the forest based on what Teapot's apartment was worth.
"Oook!!" said Teapot, "Well that sounds too good to be true!"
Lululemonshirt explained, "Aack. It is because there are always a few monkeys around who need places to rent, and because you have a good job, Teapot".
Wow, thought teapot, I wouldn't need to charge monkeys much rent, and then I'll have a nice big tree to move to some day!
Teapot was so excited it began jumping up and down thumping its chest!
"Oook ook, acck acck!" exclaimed Teapot.
Teapot learned that Bank of Monkeys makes it very difficult for a monkey to buy its first tree, or first apartment, but once that monkey owns one apartment or tree, it gets a bit easier to buy more trees to rent out to other monkeys!
In fact, Bank of Monkeys and the Monkey Government who ran the forest made it pretty easy for monkeys with a lot of bananas, or even just a home worth a lot of bananas, to own many trees!
Teapot ended up buying a big tree at the edge of the forest, and was very excited about all of this news. Teapot couldn't wait to talk to Hammer about all of this over banana sandwiches at their parents' place.
"Oook. It is very exciting! Although it doesn't seem fair, Hammer" said Teapot to Hammer, over banana sandwiches at their parents house.
"Why should I get to own an apartment and a big tree at the edge of the forest to rent out to Monkeys when some Monkeys can't even own one apartment to live in?" asked Teapot.
"Who cares!" said Hammer. Hammer picked up 3 banana sandwiches at once and stuffed all of them into its mouth.
"Every Monkey needs a place to live." said Hammer, speaking with its mouth so full of banana sandwiches that globs of banana were flying everywhere. "I own 250 trees all over the forest. It is fantastic! I hire Monkeys to watch the trees for me and I have time to take my pet Meerkats on waterskiing-cruises with me."
It was true. Hammer now owned 5 purebred, award-winning Meerkats that Hammer took with it everywhere that Hammer went.
"Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip." said Hammer's 5 pet Meerkats in agreement.
Hammer didn't go anywhere without its Meerkats.
Pet Meerkats and waterskiing cruises were something that only the richest Monkeys in the forest could afford. Hammer had always felt put out that their parents weren't very rich.
Eventhough Hammer and Teapot grew up in a modest home, Hammer wanted nothing but the best of the best. Hammer wanted to live in a giant tree-mansion with a gardener, housekeeper and Meerkat trainer. Hammer's tree-mansion had the very best in finishings.
Besides water-skiing cruises, Hammer wanted to go to the Monkey Opera House as often as possible, and eat Roast Banappelope Supreme every night at Chateux Lemur Bistro.
It never made much sense to Teapot.
Teapot asked Hammer: "Don't you ever feel bad, that you're going on all these fancy waterskiing-cruises and having Roast Banappelope Supreme every night at Chateux Lemur Bistro while the monkeys who rent from you are working 2 jobs each to pay their rent, and living on Macaroni and Fleas?"
"OOOK..." said Hammer, flaring its nostrils. "Why should I feel bad? If Monkeys don't want to rent from me, then they can move someplace else! Anyways, Teapot, thank you for reminding me, I need to raise everybody's rent. I'm going to put my darling Meerkats into finishing school and it costs 30,000 bananas per year per Meerkat. That's a lot of bananas! 150,000 per year to be exact! So everyone's rent needs to go up right away!"
"Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip" yipped Hammer's Meerkats in agreement.
"Acck acck, Move WHERE?" asked Teapot, "you own so many of the trees for rent in the forest, and you charge so much rent how are monkeys ever supposed to save up to buy their own tree?"
"THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM" yelled Hammer. Hammer was getting so upset by Teapot's questions that Hammer took a poop right into its hand and flung it at Teapot's head.
"If my lazy tenants can't make their rent then they should all go get other jobs!" said Hammer, pounding its fist on the table. "OOK OOK AACK ACCK!" exclaimed Hammer, jumping up and down and thumping its chest.
Hammer's 5 Meerkats squealed in agreement. "Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip!!" they said.
"What other jobs?" "Don't you also charge such high rent to all sorts of monkey-businesses such that monkeys with monkey-businesses can't afford to hire helpers? Or if they can, to they can't afford to pay their helpers very much?"
Hammer ignored Teapot's question.
"You don't know what you're talking about, Teapot!" said Hammer. "I give LOTS of bananas to charity. Every year I spend 100 bananas to go to the big fundraiser put on by the "Treehouses for All Monkeys" group. Lots of rich monkeys like me go to that party, and with all the bananas that are raised, one lucky Monkey family per year gets a treehouse built for them! This year I even bought a raffle ticket to win a water-skiing cruise and I DIDN'T EVEN WIN!!!"
Hammer was so excited that it grabbed 5 more banana sandwiches off of the tray and swallowed them whole.
"Hammer," said Teapot, "did you ever stop to think that maybe that charity wouldn't be necessary if all the rich monkeys who go to the fundraiser would just charge lower rent?"
Hammer ate 3 more banana sandwiches, rolled its eyes, and said "Pffffft".
"Anyways, Teapot, you don't know about renting trees to monkeys." Said Hammer. "Some can be filthy. They smash up my trees and fling their poop around and that's why rent must be expensive. Not only that I like to go to the Monkey Opera House and watching opera is expensive. And I need to go on water-skiing cruises to relax. So I have to charge more rent." said Hammer, nodding and smiling a smug smile.
"But Hammer, maybe these monkeys are frustrated because of the way things are. Don't you remember when you had to rent a place? We aren't from a rich family you know." said Teapot.
"No." Said Hammer. "I don't remember. And this conversation is OVER."
"Come on, Meerkats, we are so out of here!" Hammer barked at its meerkats.
"Yip Yip Yip Yip Yip!" said Hammer's Meerkats, gathering around Hammer.
Then Hammer snatched up the rest of the banana sandwiches on the table, stuffed them all into its mouth and stomped out of their parents home, with its Meerkats following behind.
This luncheon with Hammer gave Teapot a lot to think about.
A lot of what Hammer had to say just didn't seem right, or fair, to Teapot.
One day, while Teapot was staring out the window at home, thinking about the things Hammer had said, a little bird flew up to Teapot. The little bird said, "Teapot, you're pretty smart why don't you figure out how to buy a bunch of trees like Hammer did? Maybe you could charge less rent to Monkeys and even help them own their own trees, if that's what they would prefer".
"That is an excellent idea!" said Teapot to the little bird. "Thank you, little bird!"
The next day Teapot went to Lululemonshirt's office.
"Lululemonshirt!" said Teapot to the gibbon "Please, Please can you help me buy more trees?"
Lululemonshirt was very happy to help Teapot buy more trees, because everytime Teapot would buy a tree, Lululemonshirt would get a big basket of bananas as a bonus payment! And Lululemonshirt had kids to feed so it wanted all the bananas it could get!
It turned out that, because of Teapot's job, and the value of the apartment and the value of the tree that Teapot owned already, Teapot could buy more trees!
Knowing this, Teapot went home to look in the internet for more trees that it could buy.
The little bird would sit on Teapot's shoulder and they would both look at all the trees for sale on the Monkeyspoint website.
In time Teapot got better at spotting which trees would go up in value, and which ones they could rent out for prices lower than Hammer would.
Teapot even met some very nice "tradesmonkeys" who knew different, useful trades!
There was an electrician, a plumber and a carpenter, who would help Teapot by fixing up some of the cheaper trees that needed work, for a fair price.
The tradesmonkeys liked helping Teapot because creating affordable treehouses for all sorts of nice monkeys was a lot more fun than doing other jobs! Other jobs that they didn't like included building a 'Meerkat Gazebo', a 'Salt-Water Meerkat Wading Pond', and a 'Meerkat Ice Dancing Rink' for Hammer's tree-mansion.
Teapot was much nicer to the tradesmonkeys than Hammer was.
Teapot realized that it could ask the monkeys that it was collecting rent from for their help.
"Listen:" Teapot would tell monkeys who might want to rent a tree from Teapot...
"The little bird and I are trying to build a Monkey Business that helps monkeys, so we're giving you the best rent we can afford to. In return you can help us by not trashing our trees and by not leaving your poop everywhere when you move out. You can also help us by giving us as much notice as possible when you move out so our trees aren't sitting vacant.
Hopefully over time we won't have to raise our rents and our trees will seem quite reasonable. Most of the bananas we collect from you goes to the Bank of Monkeys, the Monkey government.
We don't go on waterskiing-cruises or have any pet Meerkats to put through finishing schools that cost 30,000 bananas per Meerkat per year.
All we need to get by is a few bananas to eat. All we want is our freedom and to try to protect this forest, after all, that is what I went to Monkey University for. Help us, and hopefully fewer monkeys will need to rent trees from Hammer. Hopefully then we can start helping monkeys to own their own trees, if that is what they want."
The monkeys respected Teapot and the little bird for what they were trying to do, and bit by bit they were able to buy a few more trees.
Teapot was able to quit its job, rent out its apartment, and move to its big tree at the edge of the forest. Teapot was so happy there!
While building its own Monkey Business, Teapot didn't adopt pet Meerkats or go on water-skiing cruises. The homes that Teapot and the little bird created for other monkeys were in much better shape than the home Teapot lived in, but Teapot was just so grateful not to have to work for anyone else that it did not mind at all.
"All I need is a few bananas to eat and a tree to sleep in" Teapot would say. Teapot appreciated all of the monkeys who paid rent to live in its trees, and Teapot never took its freedom for granted.
Teapot and the Little Bird did like the internet though, and they would watch cheerful movies about Humans such as "It's A Wonderful Life".
Eventually, Teapot and the little bird started a proper company! The little bird and Teapot decided to call their company Dreamhouse Properties.
In time Teapot was even able to help some of the monkeys that rented trees, buy their own trees if that's what they wanted.
Not all of the monkeys wanted the responsibility or expense of owning their own tree, though, and that was fine.
Some monkeys preferred to rent because then they could afford to go on trips and buy other things they liked. That was fine, as they helped all of the Monkey Businesses where ever they spent their bananas.
As time passed, fewer and fewer monkeys in the forest had to rent from Hammer. This was because more and more monkeys were able to rent or rent-to-own better homes from Teapot for less bananas than what Hammer would charge.
One day Hammer and Teapot met for another banana sandwich lunch at their parents' house.
"Hammer, you know what, I have more tenants than you do now and I have to say that you aren't any better than any of those monkeys who rent from you. Just because you go on fancy trips and show your purebred Meerkats at the Meerkat shows. To be honest I'd say that a lot of those monkeys are much harder working than you are!"
Hammer did not like hearing this at all. Hammer jumped up and down, thumped its chest and took a poop straight into its hand which it flung at Teapot.
"You don't know what you're talking about!" said Hammer flaring its nostrils. "OOOK. I NEED to go on water-skiing cruises. I need to eat at fancy restaurants and watch the opera. It relaxes me. These things are important for my business!!"
"Then why don't you invite a few of the monkeys that pay rent to you along with you sometime?" said Teapot.
This last question made Hammer so angry that Hammer started jumping up and down so hard that the tray of banana sandwiches flipped right over onto the floor with a loud CRASH!
"Hammer and Teapot, be quiet and eat your banana sandwiches!" called their parents from the kitchen.
In time, Teapot and the little bird used their Dreamhouse Properties company to buy stores to rent out to all sorts of Monkey Business Owners who used to rent places for their businesses from Hammer.
One of these monkeys was a Gorilla named Cookie.
Cookie owned The Coconut Hut, a small restaurant that sold fried bananas and rented a spot for 31 years in a shopping mall that Hammer owned.
Hammer told Cookie that Cookie's rent had to double! Hammer wanted to double Cookie's rent from 5000 bananas per month to 10,000 bananas per month!
"OOOK OOK EEEK AACCCK!!" Cookie would say when anyone asked it about Hammer.
"OOK!! That Hammer is a very greedy monkey!! I've been selling my fried bananas here for 31 years! I was selling fried bananas here when Hammer was only a small monkey, before Hammer ever even owned this mall!" Cookie would say, flaring its nostrils, thumping its chest and jumping up and down.
Cookie was very happy when Teapot offered it a cheaper, better space in a nearby shopping mall.
Cookie opened up a new and improved Coconut Hut in the mall Teapot owned! There was a grand opening celebration with fried bananas for everyone, and balloons for kids!
Cookie's move to Teapot's mall was a turning point for Dreamhouse Properties.
The bad treatment that Hammer gave Cookie was covered by all of the Monkey newspapers and television stations. Soon every monkey in the forest realized how greedy Hammer was.
Suddenly monkeys that had invested their bananas with Hammer wanted to get their bananas back to invest with Teapot instead! Dreamhouse Properties turned into Dreamhouse Investments!
All sorts of monkeys invested their money with Teapot in order to make nice, rental homes for all of the monkeys that they knew. Soon they were able to buy some of Hammer's trees from Hammer and lower every monkey's rent, and give more Monkeys and Monkey Businesses a chance to own their own home or store, if that is what they wanted.
More time passed and eventually Hammer had to start selling off all of its trees to Teapot because no monkey wanted to rent anything from Hammer any more.
Teapot's Dreamhouse Investment company was so successful that it was able to create good jobs for all sorts of monkeys. They even built an office building in the middle of the forest!
Hammer's company was no longer making enough bananas to support the lifestyle that Hammer enjoyed, so Teapot gave Hammer a job mopping floors in the office building for 10 bananas per hour
"This is ridiculous." Hammer said to Teapot one day while Hammer mopped up the floor. "We're related. I should get paid more!"
"10 bananas per hour is minimum wage. That is what many of your tenants were earning so I think it is fair." said Teapot, in front of a group of monkeys who now worked for Teapot.
The monkeys nodded up and down in agreement.
One of them said, "OOK OOOK EEEK ACCK ACCK Yes, it is fair, Hammer! You were so mean to the monkeys who rented trees from you, you should feel grateful that Teapot even gave you a job at all!"
"AACCK!" agreed another monkey "How do YOU like it, Hammer? Living on minimum wage! Imagine if you had to pay high rent, to live in one of your trees, and could only afford to eat Macaroni and Fleas for supper. That's how I used to live when I rented a tree from you!"
Hammer blubbered and muttered while it mopped the floor.
"Stupid Job." sobbed Hammer. "I can't even afford to show my Meerkats at the Forestminster Grand Meerkat Show or go on waterskiing-cruises or to the Opera House or eat Roast Banappelope Supreme at Chateau Lemur Bistro... ook ook ook."
In time Teapot did go on a waterskiing-cruise! But it was able to book the entire boat and take many of its staff, tenants and tenants kids along for the ride.
The skipper of the waterskiing-cruise boat gave Teapot a good deal on a cruise, because Teapot had helped the skipper afford its own treehouse!
Teapot even invited Hammer along because it seemed that Hammer had finally learned a lesson. Hammer learned that just because Hammer had figured out how to own 250 trees, that didn't make Hammer any better than any of the other monkeys.
Dreamhouse Investments became such a big success that in time Teapot was able to use some of the bananas the company made to buy big chunks of the forest to set aside for animals like turtles and birds; as well as for conservation of all sorts of plants. Then all of the monkeys had lots of forest to enjoy, even the ones who lived in apartments. This made Teapot very happy because after all, this is exactly why Teapot went to Monkey University.
As time went on, Teapot, the little bird, Hammer, Lululemonshirt, the tradesmonkeys, and lots of other monkeys all worked together to make sure that every monkey could afford to live in nice trees, and have good jobs, so that all of the monkeys in the forest lived happily ever after.
The End.
